I'm going to be a slave driving mom.

I was having a conversation with my hubby before he left for work that went something like this.

"Do you know the kids that don't do anything a couple of doors down?" he asked me.
"Umm... which ones? The ones on our side or on the other side of the road?" I replied
"Hrmm... good point. The ones on the other side of the road. The kid who's always jumping his bike."
"Oh, yeah... what about them?"
"Well, it's about the kid on the bike. I swear he doesn't do anything around the house. The green bin and the blue recycling box are still at the curb where it was left this morning and he's just out playing with his bike. I bet it's not going to get taken in until his mom does it."
"Considering that he's around 16 or so and I've never seen him help out around the house doing anything, I'm not that surprised. The mom shovels the driveway, with no help from either of her kids (who are both teens) and the dad does the lawn in the summer every weekend when he's home from work. The kids don't do anything. That's pretty much the case for most of the kids on our street though. It's always the parents out doing the yardwork."
"That's not going to happen at our house."
"You can bet your ass it's not! I've already been pointing out to Corwin when you're out mowing the lawn that when he's older he'll be the one doing it."

So it got me thinking.... what's up with kids these days? When I was growing up, it was expected and natural for me to help out around the house. I was probably around 4 or 5 when I started to help shovel the driveway with my tiny shovel. The scooping part was no bigger than 6" or so and yet I tooled along and did my part, the best I could. I raked leaves in the fall and I always brought the garbage or recycling bins in, if they were still out when I got home. I always helped bring groceries in and when I was older I washed dishes. My brother mowed the lawn and helped my mother trim the bushes in the front of the house.

When we moved into our current house, the neighbour directly across from us was a really nice guy married to a Korean woman. It was the second marriage for both and she had 3 kids from the previous marriage. She immigrated from Korea and grew up with very little and had to work very hard for everything she had. She didn't want her kids to do the same so she didn't want them to lift a finger to do anything. Never took out the trash. Never even went to the mailbox which was just slightly to the left of their driveway. Never mowed the lawn nor did a stitch of work inside the house (these were all accounts by our neighbour who frequently complained about his wife and kids and have subsequently gotten divorced). In fact, not only did they not do anything around the house, they were leeches that demanded money for their nasty smoking habit, speeding tickets and alcohol. They seemed to fit right into the neighbourhood since we hadn't seen any other teens doing any such work either.

So, it appears that it's not really the kids at fault, but rather the parents who don't train their kids, from an early age, that this is what is expected of them. Is this just a new trend? Am I totally out of the loop and just an old fuddy duddy with old fashioned expectations? Why did this shift occur, that made a whole generation of kids the centre of the world? I don't remember parents chauffeuring their kids around to all their activities every day of the week, always putting their own needs on the back burner when I was growing up. I began to wonder if this is what children now expect and then I thought, quite frankly, I don't really care. I'm the adult here. Corwin, and if all goes well, along with our next child will have to do their fair share of work around the house from an early age. Hubby and I believe that it teaches them life skills that they'll need when they live on their own. It will also teach them responsibility and give them some sort of work ethic. I'm sure that our kids will bitch and complain because their friends may not have to do the same sort of work around the house, but hubby and I are determined and unrelenting with this facet of child rearing.

I have come to the realization that my lofty dreams of being the super cool mom are not going to materialize. I'm going to be the slave driving mom but damnit, my kids will be prepared for life down the road. I'll just have to settle for people remarking that I have "really good kids."